1: Don’t do it
Not everyone celebrates your holidays. Statistics show that the majority of people on the planet live in other countries that don’t necessarily celebrate the same holidays you do. Even your close neighbors may view your hallowed tradition as the commemoration of when your people showed up to make everything worse.
2: Don’t do it
That picture of the cute _____ you’re using violates someone’s copyright.
3: Don’t do it
Holiday marketing is 37% less effective* than other lazy marketing ploys, including even sending pictures of your office dog in costume for National Sea Monkey Day (16 May) and using QR codes in your ads.
4: Don’t do it
Not everyone looks forward to holidays. Comic film star Charlie Chaplin, the King of Soul James Brown, Czech theologian and natural scientist Václav Prokop Diviš, and Santa Baby vocalist Eartha Kitt all died on Christmas Day.
5: Don’t do it
No one who actually reads your best wishes believes you mean it anyways.
6: Don’t do it
Other people may celebrate that same thing at some other time or in some other way. For example, the new year is marked on at least 17 different dates around the world**, including 21–22 Sep 2017 and 16 Feb 2018. New Year’s Eve on 31 Dec is a full 10 days later than the actual 2017 winter solstice, when people who use science to understand things mark the real change in our planet’s annual trip around the sun.
7: Don’t do it
Pumpkin spice is not a strategy.
Special Bonus Holiday Marketing Strategy
“Don’t be like Ronald Reagan.” Time-honored advice from digital marketing guru Marshall Kirkpatrick.
**I also made this number up.